


everything we never were

by kaggleyama



Series: Rare pair weekend 2k16 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, Slow Burn, hq rare pair weekend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-13 01:04:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5688646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaggleyama/pseuds/kaggleyama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six years pass before Daichi sees Hinata again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	everything we never were

**Author's Note:**

> for rare pair weekend on tumblr
> 
> (and for my beta, because she made me blush. if you're reading this: you're the best)

If you had asked Daichi in high school where he thought he’d be six years down the road, he would have said—

Well. He doesn’t know what he would have said. But he certainly didn’t plan on ending up back at Karasuno. And yet, here he is. 

It’s strange, working alongside his old teachers. Sometimes he forgets, slips up and calls them _sensei_ , but those incidents are few and far between. Honestly, he has more trouble with his students. His memories of attending Karasuno are still fresh in his mind. It seems like only yesterday he sat in one of these classrooms himself, and now he has an entire classroom full of students to take care of. 

It doesn’t feel right. Despite being twenty-three already, Daichi still feels like a teenager half the time. Of course, he’s grown up – he’s a full-fledged adult now, living in his own apartment and everything. He even makes his own doctors appointments – but it doesn’t feel like he’s changed much. 

That’s exactly the problem. He hasn’t changed, but everything around him has. He’s not in high school anymore, and he’s lost contact with most members of the team. They promised to keep in touch and they did, for a while, but then they started talking less and less. Eventually, their conversations just sort of fizzled out. 

People grow apart. Daichi knows this now, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. 

Maybe that’s why he came back to Karasuno. He could have chosen any school in the country to apply for a post and yet, as soon as he heard Karasuno had a teaching position available, he came running back. Even though the students are different, the school is still the same – the building, the classrooms, the hallways. The gym. 

On days where he’s particularly melancholy, Daichi finds himself wandering through the school after class. He glides his hand across the walls and desks, trying to soak it all in. Every time he takes a different path, but he always, _always_ ends up back at the gym. 

 

_Practice during summer is always difficult. Not that they’re any less motivated, but even fierce determination can’t stave off the heat. At least, that’s what Daichi always thought._

_That was before Hinata happened, though._

_He’s long since gotten used to Hinata’s seemingly endless supply of energy. Even when they’re all exhausted, Hinata is there, calling for another toss, another spike, another chance. One more._

_Still. Daichi didn’t think even Hinata would be impervious to the sweltering heat of summer. It’s the kind of heat that makes your muscles feel heavy, makes your lungs burn sooner and harsher than usual. Even someone as energetic as Hinata has to be affected by that._

_He’s not, though. Even in this heat, with the scorching sun outside, Hinata keeps asking for more. He’s breathing heavily and sweating enough that his shirt clings to his back, but he is still jumping. It even seems a little higher than normally, though that might just be because Daichi is so exhausted himself._

_Hinata has a certain effect on people. He always draws attention like a magnet, but it’s especially obvious today. The other members see him moving, see him jumping like the air isn’t burning, and Daichi sees them move better because of it._

_Then Hinata catches his eye, just for a moment, and it’s like he’s saying_ come on, what are you waiting for. 

I’m not, _Daichi thinks,_ I’m not waiting. _His legs feel lighter already._

 

Thankfully, Ukai tolerates Daichi hanging around the gym. He does make him help out every once in a while, but Daichi can’t say he particularly minds. If he’s going to lurk during practice he might as well make himself useful. The other option is leaving, which would mean either going back to his classroom to mark papers, or going home. 

He doesn’t really like going home. It’s too empty, too quiet. 

Sometimes he calls Suga and they hang out, but Suga is busy at the hospital more often than not these days. Takeda makes it a point to invite him along whenever he and some other faculty members go out for drinks, but Daichi usually declines. He doesn’t feel comfortable drinking with his former teachers. Maybe someday he’ll accept, when he’s older and more comfortable around his colleagues, but for now—

For now, he’ll stay in the gym. 

The familiar sounds are usually comforting. Shoes squeaking against the floor, balls smacking against skin, rowdy shouts and laughter. If he closes his eyes, Daichi can almost pretend he never left. 

Today is different, though. Something doesn’t feel right. It throws him off his game enough that he says no when some students ask for his help practicing receives. They’re obviously disappointed, but Daichi can’t bring himself to be bothered by it. He’s on edge, tense with anticipation for – something. He’s not entirely sure what. 

Daichi waits for something to happen all throughout practice. Only when they start cleaning up does he admit defeat. What was he expecting to happen, anyway? He was probably just imagining things. 

Doing his best to suppress the sigh that’s desperately trying to escape, he bids goodbye to Ukai and Takeda. Both of them give him concerned looks. He must look as exhausted as he feels. Takeda even tries to ask him what’s wrong, but Daichi brushes him off. He’s not even sure what’s wrong himself, so there’s no way he can explain it to Takeda. 

When he steps outside, the girl team is just leaving, emerging from the second gym in little groups. Abruptly, Daichi feels guilty. He hasn’t gone to see the girl’s team even once since he started teaching here. He doesn’t even know who are on the team. It could be one of his students, and he wouldn’t even know. 

The girls are chattering happily. Their voices keep Daichi’s attention, draw him in. Before he even notices what’s happening, he’s moving towards them.

Then, with no warning whatsoever, a blur of orange and black shoots from the door. It’s a person, running fast as a bullet – a tiny person with orange hair, wearing the Karasuno uniform. Daichi’s heart stutters in his chest. _Hinata_ , he thinks. _Hinata_.

But, of course it isn’t him. Hinata isn’t at Karasuno anymore. He’s off playing volleyball in the international circuit now. Even if he was here, he wouldn’t be with the girl’s team. 

Still. The girl looks eerily similar to Hinata. Her hair is longer and less messy, but it’s the same shade of orange. Her face is a little more angular, a little thinner, but Daichi can see traces of Hinata in her nose, her eyes, her mouth.

He’s so caught up in staring at the girl that he completely forgets to look where he’s going and walks right into somebody. They let out a soft _oof_ when they smack against Daichi’s chest, then a startled screech as they lose their balance and fall backwards.

It takes a great deal of effort, but Daichi finally manages to tear his eyes away from the girl and look at the person now sitting on the ground. He’s pretty sure his heart stops entirely this time. 

The girl lets out an alarmed noise and comes running over. “Onii-chan! Are you okay?”

 _Ah, that explains it,_ Daichi thinks. Of course. A girl with hair like that could only be related to Hinata—

Hinata, _Hinata_ , who he just knocked over, who just ran right into him. Hinata, who is here at Karasuno. 

Daichi’s vision blurs. He can’t believe it, can’t believe this is real. It must be a dream. Or, maybe, he took a volleyball to the head and this is a hallucination. Anything is more believable than Hinata suddenly showing up. 

“Onii-chan,” the girl repeats. She’s close all of a sudden, a concerned look on her face. 

“I’m fine, Natsu.” And, yeah, okay, that’s definitely Hinata’s voice. “It’s only a little-” He abruptly cuts off when he looks up. His eyes go wide and his jaw goes slack. Their eyes meet and, for a moment, neither of them does anything except stare. 

“Daichi-san?” Hinata says finally, voice small and hopeful. 

Daichi swallows around the lump in his throat. “Hinata,” he croaks. “Long time no see.”

 

_With how energetic he usually is, Daichi often forgets how much of an effect a bad day can have on Hinata. He’s reminded every time it happens though. There are days where things just don’t run smoothly, where nothing seems to work. Hinata’s spikes don’t go through and he can’t seem to block a single ball._

_Kageyama shouts at him. Tsukishima sneers. Each time, Daichi sees Hinata become more irritated. He grits his teeth, muscles wound tight and ready for action. When he’s like this, he always needs to be moving. He’s almost vibrating with tension._

_“Hinata,” Daichi rests his hand on Hinata’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?”_

_Hinata runs his hand through his hair. He shakes his head, jaw clenched tight. As he is now, he reminds Daichi a bit of an animal, wild an ferocious._

_He grabs Hinata’s wrist with his free hand. His skin is burning hot, but the skin on skin contact seems to calm him down at least a little._

_“I don’t know. It’s just not working.” His hands clench into fists at his side. Daichi moves to fold them back open, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles. Hinata relaxes a bit more. “I don’t understand why I can’t just-” He finishes with a frustrated noise half-way between a whimper and a shout._

_“It’s okay,” Daichi says. “It’s fine. Just take it slow, yeah? Try to relax.”_

__

_Hinata nods and tries to smile. When he goes back to playing, he does seem less agitated and it goes a little better. But, with all the complaints from Kageyama whenever something goes wrong, and Tsukishima’s snarky comments, the tension quickly returns._

__

_When he notices this happening, Daichi tries to initiate some form of contact between Hinata and him. He lets their shoulders brush, or places his hand between Hinata’s shoulders. Just quick touches here and there to help him settle down again._

_If those touches linger more than necessary, nobody but Daichi needs to know._

 

“So,” Daichi says. He’s sitting across from Hinata at a table in a local bar. It was Hinata who insisted they get a drink together. Though Daichi wasn’t at all opposed to the idea when he first suggested it, he’s having second thoughts now. He was definitely not prepared for all the feelings that would surface after seeing Hinata again after all these years. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be off in some foreign country, bringing home gold for Japan.”

Hinata laughs. It’s the same laugh as it was six years ago, and it sends warm tingles to Daichi’s fingertips. His fingers tremble around the neck of his beer bottle.“Yeah, well, I’m on break. Thought it’d be nice to visit my family, see how Natsu’s doing.” He takes a drink of water – no alcohol for professional athletes, he’d explained. Daichi watches his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows.

“What about you, though?” Hinata is even more intense than Daichi remembers. Every words that comes out of his mouth is like a lightning strike. “Why were you at Karasuno?”

“I’m a teacher there.”

“Really?” Hinata’s eyes widen in surprise. “Natsu never mentioned that.”

Daichi rubs at the back of his neck. He sees Hinata’s attention turn to his biceps for a moment, before he looks back up. “She’s not in my class, so I’m not sure she even knew.”

“Guess that explains it.” His hair is longer than it used to be, just long enough to fall into his eyes. He pushes it back with his hand and smiles. It’s a modest smile – nothing like the blinding smiles Daichi remembers, but somehow still sincere. “I didn’t know you wanted to be a teacher. But it suits you, I think. You were always good at taking care of people.”

Daichi can’t help but laugh at that. If only Hinata knew how much trouble he had when he first started teaching. “Are you sure about that?”

“Of course!” Hinata slams his hands on the table and leans forward. “You always took care of me, right? You taught me so many things. And everyone else, too.” He adds the last part almost as an afterthought. “In a way, you were a teacher even then.”

He’s so close. Daichi can smell his shampoo. It’s herbal, he thinks. Sharp, but not unpleasant. Very fitting for Hinata. 

 

_“Are you ever going to tell him?”_

_Daichi thinks about pretending he didn’t hear, but he knows he won’t get away with it. He might have been able to escape questioning a little longer by using somebody else as a cover, but Suga thought of that. He made sure to wait until they were alone._

_“Well?” Suga places his hands on his hips._

_Daichi sighs. There’s no use pretending he doesn’t know what this is about. Suga knows he’s not that stupid. “I don’t know.” He slumps against the wall, leaning his head against it and closing his eyes. “Maybe.”_

_He doesn’t want to talk about this. With the Spring High coming up, he already has enough on his mind. This – whatever this thing with Hinata is, he doesn’t want to think about it._

_“Are you scared he’ll reject you?” Suga says. “Because you shouldn’t be. I’m pretty sure he feels the same.”_

_Daichi frowns. He can’t deny it’s nice to hear that his feelings are reciprocated, but it doesn’t make him feel any better. “That’s not it.”_

_“I figured. You’re not really the type to worry about that kind of thing.”_

_Isn’t he? Daichi isn’t sure anymore. He wasn’t the type to develop feelings for his underclassmen, but look how that turned out._

_He can feel Suga leaning against the wall beside him and pries open an eye. Suga has that kind of soft, thoughtful expression he usually reserves for the first years. “My advice is that you should tell him. It’s up to you, of course, but I think you’ll regret it if you don’t.”_

_Daichi pressed his hands against his eyes hard enough that he starts to see stars. “I don’t know,” he sighs. “I just don’t know.”_

 

“Oh, yeah, it’s great. _Volleyball_ is great,” Hinata says. “Everybody on the team is nice – except for Kageyama, but that’s just how he is – and we work together really well.”

“That’s good to hear.” Daichi smiles. 

They’ve been making small talk for what seems like hours now. It’s not necessarily awkward, but there’s something forced about it. Daichi is sure it’s because they both know what they’re really doing. All this talking is just them dancing around the past, around all they could have been. 

Hinata dips his head forward and looks up through his lashes and it’s absolutely breathtaking. 

Daichi didn’t follow Suga’s advice back then, but now – now he’s ready to take a chance.

“And did you ever,” he pauses to lick his lips and doesn’t miss the way Hinata’s eyes follow the movement. “Did you ever get involved with somebody?”

“Romantically?” Hinata blinks. “A few times, but nothing serious. What about you?”

“No.” Daichi’s voice catches. “Never.”

 

_It’s just after the last match Daichi will ever play with this team, and they’ve won._

_It’s just after winning nationals, and his eyes are locked with Hinata’s. They’re closer than they need to be, both of them flushed and panting._

_All around them, the team is celebrating, but Daichi can’t look away from Hinata. He doesn’t think he could look away even if the building started falling down around them._

_Hinata is shining. Daichi could lean down and kiss him right now, if he wanted to._

_He wants to._

_But, really, they’ve just won nationals, and everybody is celebrating. Before Daichi can do anything, before he can even start leaning down, Hinata is tackled by Nishinoya. They land on the floor, and somehow that turns into a huge pile of people hugging and laughing and crying. Daichi gets pulled in as well, and he doesn’t get time to wonder what would have happened if he’d leaned in a split second earlier._

 

“Daichi-san?” Hinata brushes his fingers against his wrist. His skin is warm. Daichi’s heart starts racing at his touch. He doesn’t remember Hinata having this much of an effect on him. Maybe absence really does make the heart grow fonder. 

“Yeah?” His voice is shaking. 

Hinata presses a piece of paper into his hand. It’s not folded, so Daichi can see a phone number written on it. “Call me,” Hinata says, looking him dead in the eyes. “If you ever want to finish what we started.”

**Author's Note:**

> funny story about this fic: originally, i was planning on writing ushitsuki. i had a plan and everything but when i sat down to actually write it i ended up just staring at a blank page for an hour. then i got the idea for this fic at two am and i spent an entire day writing it. by the end of it my eyes were all itchy from staring at a screen for hours.
> 
> this is also on my [tumblr](http://tsuk-kei.tumblr.com/)


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